Rediscover Family Traditions

For as long as I can remember, there have been family traditions in my household.

Traditions around bedtime, mealtime, first day of school, holidays, dance recitals, birthday and celebrations alike. Some I have forgotten, but many I hold near and dear to my heart till this day.

I think a part of the reason why some of these traditions were so memorable and important were because my parents were new to the United States and had to create a new normal for our family.

To me, shopping for the first day of school from 1^st grade to 8^th grade, was similar to the Forest Gump ‘life is like a box of chocolates quote’. I never knew what I was going to get.

 My father would always go to the Flea Market at Aqueduct Raceway in Queens NY, and purchase two, sometimes four pair of shoes / sneakers that either no one would know or ever look at. He reminded that the shoes were good quality and what good use I would get out of them. After awhile it just became a joke in the house, because he meant well. But the shoes were always god awful ugly!

I remember always celebrating Birthdays at Red Lobster. ALWAYS!

Why Red Lobster you ask? Because they always gave away an entire chocolate cake for FREE as well as sang a cheesy birthday song. (It was even cheesier back then).

My father worked and travelled a lot, so most of what I remember of our traditions included just my mother and me.

In hindsight, I applaud my mother. She made great efforts to create traditions for our family- Christmas and New Year’s included. Some that would warm the heart, and some that would be slightly questionable in a court of law.  LOL!

On Christmas Eve, we would drink hot chocolate and sing Christmas Carols – sometimes in a round out of this very thin, yet well preserved green book she kept from her school days in Jamaica W.I. She would also allow me to open at least one of my gifts…sometimes we had a tree – sometimes we did not; nonetheless, we had fun memories that I will cherish forever.

Christmas was never boring in our home, money or no money, friends or no friends, parties or no parties. I looked forward to every minute of it. Because we were together.

For years we would ring in the New Year hopping from theatre to theatre in the former SUNRISE Multiplex in Valley Stream, NY.

(I am pretty confident that the statute of limitations on movie hopping has expired by now, so I can proceed with my story). 

We didn’t have loads of money to spend on a night on the town; but what we did have was two tickets, popcorn, and fast moving, feet when it became necessary to run from theatre to theatre when each movie ended and the ticket / cleaning crew came around.

 I miss those days.  They brought me such joy and comfort. I am sure that I am not alone...can you relate? 

When I became a growing adult, with a growing family, I felt it was only right to rediscover the fun and joy of family traditions. Now I make an effort to drag my children to see the Christmas Tree. 

Yup, the same Christmas Tree that they drop off at Rockefeller Center and Bryant Park, every single year. I drag them to the Saks windows on 5^th Ave. 

Yup, the same windows displaying things I can’t afford, with a little fake snow thrown around. 

I still watch “It’s A Wonderful Life”, “March of The Wooden Soldiers with Laurel & Hardy” (off-course), and “The Honeymooners” marathon. 

Each year I purchase a REAL tree, as opposed to an artificial one, so that my home smells like and looks like LIFE. 

These intentional choices are vital; they send a message to my kids of who we are and what we can be.

So many of us as adults don’t value traditions anymore. We forget that those same experiences, shaped the people that we have become, both good and bad. When we turn our backs on those things, we are choosing to dismiss a major part of who we are and where we have come from. 

If you are fortunate enough to share your life with a partner, spouse, or children you are also denying them the opportunity of getting to know a piece of your past and journey.  

Traditions help us to connect our past to our present. They help to reinforce our values, faith, ethics, selflessness, and appreciation for our role models and the experiences they have imparted on us.

Whether anyone understands my need and desire to cultivate these traditions, they are necessary. They are necessary for me. They are necessary for my identity and sense of belonging to my family, culture, and community.

 Especially as I get older, and losing loved ones, is a reality.

The truth is that as we age, our beliefs and traditions become diluted and the things that shaped us -suddenly become foreign to us. It’s our responsibility especially if there are children in our lives, to remind ourselves and them that they are a part of a bigger story. It will hopefully, give them understanding and inspire confidence.

I want to encourage everyone to think about and take advantage of every opportunity to celebrate the values and beliefs that they hold dear.

 It doesn’t matter your religious beliefs, political affiliations, or financial status.

Don’t look at it as just another daunting task, but rather a blessing that you get to create and nurture something that will one day outlive you.

Traditions, moments spent with loved ones, stories, activities, memories, routines, create generational ties that should never be taken for granted.